quote:

Originally posted by Oblivion:
if Chuck Norris read that he would have deleted the internet

My MySpace

Check out my Deviant Art

quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Mikael:
Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.

Chuck Norris' semen cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.

The chief import of Chuck Norris is cock.
Chuck Norris shampoos with conditioner, and then actually repeats.

Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once became popular for no apparent reason whatsoever.

A Chinaman once told Chuck Norris that his penis was small during a karate tournament.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris' most lethal art is face painting.

Chuck Norris is currently suing ABC, claiming Hope & Faith are trademarked names for his left and right breasts.

Chuck Norris was the original choice to play the lead role in the movie, "Boys Don't Cry". Hilary Swank replaced him because test audiences found him to be gayer than 9 guys blowing 8 guys.

Chuck Norris has no friends on Myspace. Not Even Tom.

Chuck Norris once fought Vin Diesel... and got absolutely fucked up.

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because of their potency, silent because his butthole is extremely loose.

Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

Chuck Norris has to employs a legion of Mexican landscapers to suppress the wilderness that is his back.

Chuck Norris was once trapped in a paper bag for 3 days.

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds. Hard and harder. He uses these when making love to other men.

The leading causes of death in the United States are Heart Disease, Cancer, and AIDS. Chuck Norris has all three.

Chuck Norris tried to round-house kick me in the face once, but he’s really old, so I moved out of the way and he fell to the ground and just kind of laid there.

Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina.

Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

Richard Simmons once told Chuck Norris to quit acting like such a fag.

When asked what his favorite movie was, Chuck Norris replied, “The Notebook. No, no, no, wait I’m just kidding! It's Garden State.”

In preparation for his future role as a gay cowboy, a young Jake Gyllenhaal spent a year as Chuck Norris' understudy on the set of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Chuck Norris' mom was in labor for three more days following his birth: one for his ego, one for his intelligence, and one for his talent. The latter two were stillborns from lack of oxygen. Only Chuck Norris' ego survived.

Michael J. Fox didn't have the heart to tell Chuck Norris that his acting in "Walker, Texas Ranger" was forgettable, so he just told the world that he had Parkinson's.

Chuck Norris goes to bars and slips roofies into his own dirty martinis in hopes of getting picked up.

As a child, Chuck Norris was often caught spooning with other ginger kids during nap time.

When they asked Chuck Norris to be in Brokeback Mountain 2 he simply said "How many sex scenes?"

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Crash! Let's do it!

Kriss's DeviantArt

quote:

Originally posted by MidnightSun:
I can't believe it's still 2005.

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by MidnightSun:
I can't believe it's still 2005.

Damn you, I was so totally about to post that! MIDDDDDDDD!!

There Was A Time...
11-23-08

quote:

Originally posted by MidnightSun:

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by MidnightSun:
I can't believe it's still 2005.

Damn you, I was so totally about to post that! MIDDDDDDDD!!

haha.
Better luck next time.

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:
Y'all can say what you want but I think that Chuck Norris shit is hilarious still.

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:
Y'all can say what you want but I think that Chuck Norris shit is hilarious still.

Try having a better half that quoted them all for months. lol I'll lend him to you and he can quote you to insanity

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:
Y'all can say what you want but I think that Chuck Norris shit is hilarious still.

Try having a better half that quoted them all for months. lol I'll lend him to you and he can quote you to insanity

HAHA My hubby taped a tiny picture of his head on my headboard. He thinks he's funny. It's still there.

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:

quote:

Originally posted by abbey41:

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie:
Y'all can say what you want but I think that Chuck Norris shit is hilarious still.

Try having a better half that quoted them all for months. lol I'll lend him to you and he can quote you to insanity

HAHA My hubby taped a tiny picture of his head on my headboard. He thinks he's funny. It's still there.

ROTFLMAO okay he's totally topped mine. Maybe we should let the two men live together!